Through the Terrains with Jesus | 017
And it all began….. The rollercoaster train
As soon as we got back from the trip doctor visits began once again, life began, and it all started….
That week I was seen by the specialist and though we received the good news of not needing to go through with the procedure… we ended up getting news that threw me off. My mind was silent. It was struck. It was like the movies you see when they give you the not so great news, news that are new and unexpected, and they somehow blank out hearing no words just seeing their lips move…
Yeah, that was me.
I couldn’t process what she was saying…. I was in complete shock at what was told.
“How could this be Lord? Is this even real? I don’t even know how to process this. I just know I need you.”
Not needing one procedure was great! One answered prayer down! But this… to hit me in the face unknowingly…. I knew why the Lord needed me to stay hidden away from people and stay in Him. Even though I knew, He knew more!
I got home and began to sit just trying to figure it out…. figure out what it was, know more about it, questions that popped in my head hours later… there I was, writing every question down. As we began to process through this, both my husband and I, I couldn’t help but cry and telling Him, “will I ever get a break? It seems its one thing after another and I am just exhausted. I don’t get it. I don’t get why this is happening. I am tired of the enemy trying to take me down.”
We both researched this word we were told I was diagnosed with and my goodness…. it is something you know not of until you walk it… are told it… or know someone fighting through it. As we began to see there is no known cause of it… I just knew I had to pray. I needed answers. I needed God to fight for me and I wanted to fight alongside with God on this.
“Is there anything that I can do, even a diet change, to help change the diagnosis?” My words to the Dr.
And her words to me: “No I am sorry, there is nothing you can do, it wasn’t anything you did wrong, these things just happen unknowingly.”
The Lords words to me were “carrying (or receiving or having the promise in our hands) it never comes easy, but it is worth it.”
Anytime we are fighting through to keep our promise at hand, holding it, carrying it, receiving it, we battle. Why? Because the enemy wants to do all he can to destroy the promise and not let it come to full fruition. We all know he comes only to steal kill and destroy, and that he will try to do when we have the promise at hand. He wants us to know birth the promise God spoke whether years, months or weeks that God had spoken. He wants to do all he can to stop us from the becoming… becoming a testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness.
But we must remain steadfast in faith. Remain faithful in God. Recite Gods truth and the promise He spoke. We fight back. We put on the full armor of God, we pick up our sword, and we get ready to battle alongside the Lord.
There will be times we battle in stillness. There will be times we battle in worship. There will be times we battle in prayer. No matter how the Lord wants us to battle, we must know that God is for us, not against us, and He is there to lead us in this terrain to show us what to do next. And in each terrain we walk in with Jesus sweet friend, we are taught more of His character and name. We walk the experience of getting to know His name personally and we get to see something being magnified right before our eyes.
This is where it all began…. where the rollercoaster of answers was given and the battle being fought was tough. But in the battle, His Shalom was there with me, it never left. And for that, I am so thankful for because it was all I needed…. Just Him!