Through the Terrains with Jesus | 010
Finally, it began to subside. I started to feel better little at a time. Feeling strength within my bones and movement I finally was able to do without feeling hit by a truck (however that feels).
To be honest, I thought I would never get better. I thought I would never be able to roll out of bed feeling normal again. But thank goodness sunlight appeared through the tunnel because it seemed too long to know what it feels like to walk around the house without needing to pass out.
I would receive a few check up calls from a friend and my sister, and honestly, I am so thankful for these calls. They were needed more than I knew.
I’d often get asked “how are you?” or “how is everything going in this season?”
It was hard to describe exactly what I felt, what I was seeing, sensing, and walking through. I felt attacked like I never been attacked before. It sounded as if I was crazy to even try to explain what I was facing. There was only one way to explain what I was going through…
An Intense Spiritual Battle.
Those were the only words that could best describe it.
I was continually to reminded of truth from the Lord through my sister and friend, whether it was through a phone call, a text, quoted scripture, even random songs playing on the radio…. reassuring me God hasn’t left me, that He is very near and will bring me through it.
And that He was friend. Still is.
Even in the not feeling well moments, in the moments I couldn’t open the Bible, the moments I had no strength or energy to pray, the moments I felt like Job, like David, like Sarah, He was there. He never left. He was simply quiet.
If I am being totally honest with you, I disliked Him being quiet. I wanted him to speak and be loud again in my life. But in the times he was quiet, he was showing me yet another thing… to keep seeking and pursuing Him despite me not “feeling” him there with his magnified presence.
There will be times He magnifies himself even more. Then there will be times he’s soft, gentle, and quiet.
In the times when He seems silent, in the times we want Him to be loudly present, He wants us to pursue after Him and continue to seek Him. He doesn’t want us to give up but rather, to seek and sit.
Friend, He won’t always be loudly present. Just like He isn’t always loud in the earthquakes, the storms, the wind…. there will be times He will be in the small gentle whisper. Are our ears tuned to this kind of whisper?
It’s okay if you are in the place of not hearing Him loud like before. It’s okay if things have suddenly changed and He seems silent in this temporary terrain.
It is just that my sweet friend. Temporary. Keep pursuing His voice. Keep searching His presence. Keep on sitting with Him, because I know one thing is certain…
He doesn’t leave us in those places. He cradles us in His arms, strokes our hair ever so gently, and whispers tenderly to us, right when we need it.