Through the Terrains with Jesus | 009
On that day I had to be seen by the doctor because I didn’t get any better. I slept all day, ate nothing at all, drank nothing as my body battled its way through.
“I need you to drink Gatorade, along with taking this prescription to help you. Not doing so could lead to further dehydration and be hospitalized. Let’s see you in three weeks and if you haven’t gotten better in this time we will find another route.”
“Are you serious? I have to take medicine and drink a drink that is filled with sugar that I have fought hard to not give into…”
There I was, in line at the pharmacy, feeling ashamed to even pick up a bottle of whatever the medicine was called.
I have never been one to need medicine. I used all my oils faithfully. But in this situation, it was different.
I took the medicine for two, maybe three, days and began to notice how rough, hard, and ugly it had me feel. Worse than what I was already feeling on top of my head feeling this urge to explode. It hurt.
“God, I just don’t get it. I don’t understand. Why is nothing working and I am having to fight through this? I can’t even seem to drink water. Please change my taste buds to want water, you know I don’t want all this sugar within my body. Change my body to want to be better. I don’t know what else to do here.”
I really had no idea what was happening. I struggled to make sense of it all. Maybe you too friend. Maybe you have tried to figure it out or make sense of what is happening…
But that was just it. I was trying to make sense of it all rather than me coming to God and asking Him to show me what it is I need. After all, he knows my body more than a friend, a doctor, even myself.
We tend to seek answers in friends, maybe a close family member, or even someone else. Why? Because we want answers now and a quick immediate fix. At least that is how it was for me.
But sometimes it doesn’t work out like this. God teaches us things in millions of ways. He chooses the ways to teach us.
I tend to find the root, find a solution, and get it resolved. But this wasn’t the case. God wanted me to RUN to Him, not trying to seek healing elsewhere. He wanted ALL of me. Every bit of me!
In moments like these, what if we stopped and instead say “Okay God, I am here, I am all yours, what is it you are wanting to show me in this? What is it I need that I do not know?”
What if we trusted Him this much, to RUN to Him and ask Him the questions, even if its asking Him what our body truly needs. Asking Him if its okay to join this weight watch group, this nutritional plan, this diet, begin this eating habit, etc. Do we ever run to Him and ask Him if its okay to _____ ….. whatever it is you are wanting to do? Or do we just jump the gun and go for it because we want to do it now or see others thriving in it and we want to thrive too?
I have learned, what He has shown me is that it’s so important to ask Him first if this is what He wants for us rather than us jumping the gun. Even if we have to wait and be still, waiting for His answer. No matter how long it takes. His answer is always worth waiting for.
I want to be more like this… more of asking Him, even the silliest things such as, “Okay Lord is this outfit great for today? Which lipstick should I wear today, or should I wear any at all? Should I join this _____ or do you have something better for me that you are making me wait for?”
Sis, imagine how peaceful our decision making could be when we partner with Him. Imagine the endless possibilities He can take us through when we simply RUN to Him first, rather than others, and ask Him what it is we should do.
This is what He was showing me in that moment. Oh how I pray you grasp today’s writing…
May we be women who pursue His heart, asking Him for His leading, and us being the willing vessel, even if we don’t understand the “no” or the “not yet daughter”. There is beauty in the no and in the not yet that He tells us. We simply need to trust and rely on His understanding, not our own.