Through the Terrains with Jesus | 008
All week long I played the songs and worshipped battling my way through. January seemed to have been the longest month of my life.
“Why are you taking me through here?” “Why me?”
The question I seemed to have asked over and over and over again.
Maybe God was tired of hearing me say this. Maybe He wasn’t. Maybe He wanted me to not ask. Or maybe He wanted me to keep asking.
I couldn’t help but ask him all through January why I had to walk this path, this road. I couldn’t understand why it had to feel so lonesome.
It wasn’t that He wanted me to feel lonely. He wanted me alone with just Him to battle our way through this together.
We can’t battle if we have too many voices and distractions surrounding us. It hinders our hearing of His voice and our seeing of what He is doing in our seasons.
This is where He had me. In complete hiding. Just me, myself, and I hiding in Him specifically.
“Protect the ones in the ______” is what he told me. I wasn’t hiding or in isolation because I wanted to be. It was because the Lord drew me to it. He knew what I would come up against.
The only way we can protect our minds, our hearts, the promise, His voice, is by obeying to what He said. And if that means removing Netflix out of our life, removing TV completely, or even staying off social media for however long he tells us, so be it. It is far worth losing those things than losing what He has in store for us.
I remember sharing with my husband how I felt deep inside. How lonely I felt, how tired I am of walking through this, of how I don’t understand what it is that God wanted from me. Because to be honest, I didn’t know what He wanted. We walked alot (God and I) together the year before this and went through some pretty rough situations.
This one…. was different. It felt edgy, rocky, yet I had this peace that carried me through.
My poor husband, sitting and in silence, hearing every word I said and wiping every tear that came down.
With very little words He had.. it meant more than a whole bunch of words that meant nothing.
“You chose to be faithful to Him all this time, keep being faithful in Him. He sees you.” The words my husband said.
To be honest, I wanted to give up in this moment. I wanted to give in and just sit in this place forever of feeling “why me?” But God didn’t let me. He let me sit in it for a moment, but it wasn’t for long. He said it was enough and it’s time to take that step.
How many times do we find ourselves sitting in those dark or questioning places because it somehow feels “known” or “comfortable”? Or we want to know…
How many times do we think there isn’t anything good to come of what we are walking through even though we KNOW who our God is that we serve?
Can I tell you something?
Everyone has experienced this. Everyone has sat in this place for a moment. It is in this moment that our Rescuer comes down, rescues us from that place, and brings us into the place we are meant to be in.
I wish I could tell you the whole month of January was easy. But it wasn’t. I wish I could tell you that I was full of perkiness and happiness and not let anything get to me, but it wouldn’t be true. I believe God showed me so much in that month of January that it began to bloom and flourish into this for others to see in their own walks of terrains, that there is some “feelings” we feel, questions we ask, thoughts we think, but we don’t have to stay there. We learn. We grow. We flourish. We are taught. We are loved. We are being seen. We are stretching into the becoming of who He destined us to be. We begin to see the calling He has for us. He removes the unwanted to place the wanted in us. There is so much terrains teach us…. but are we willing to listen?
That is the question. Are we willing to walk through it or run back the other way? Are we willing to let go of what He tells us so we can walk in the new where He wants to place us?
He rescues us from those places. In the places we are needing Him the most. And when He does friend, it is then… His light shines that much more brighter in you, His Word means that much more richer to you, His presence magnifies like no other in your life, and He becomes the friend you have longed to have. Another life transformation begins to happen that you have not yet known… it is only in the terrains, the hidden places, that we are able to see how beautiful our life can become when we allow Jesus to take over.