Through the Terrains with Jesus | 005
Did This Just Happen??
The prayer I told you about in Marker 004, about how I sat in the car praying for this certain thing to be seen…. heard… what I wanted to happen… (or so I thought)…
Well, it was answered.
No surprise there.
Even though it was no surprise to me of what I saw, I still didn’t feel that it was accurate. Something inside me kept telling me it’s not what it seems. It’s not what it looks like. Deep within a battle was occuring.
I continued on with my day and week as normally as I could, I was still battling all the crud that wouldn’t leave our home.
How can this really happen? None of this makes sense.
As my week continued I felt this deep nudge within my spirit. A gentle nudge to awaken my heart…
I heard the Lord say, “You need to repent for wanting _____. Repent from being selfish and instead trust in me what I am doing in you.”
I couldn’t believe what I just heard. Could this be so?? Was it really selfish to pray that I wanted this to happen and not that??
I imagine so. Because the He told me so.
How many times do we come to Him in prayer with our wants? Wanting this specific thing… whether its a bigger house, fancier car, an added child, a job that we want and turned down the others to wait for this specific one… we pray and pray for this specific thing because… well… that is what we want. Right?
Now there isn’t wrong in things we want, He knows that. He knew deep within my heart I wanted this for years to come… it came down to this, having me to lay down my wants and instead learning and replacing my wants for wanting more of Him. And that my dear friend, was beauty in its own….
It’s not that he doesn’t care about our wants. But if our prayer is circled around this want more than wanting more of Him and His desires for us… thats where the heart check comes in.
Walking this out and hearing what I was told the first time before praying that prayer in the parking lot, shocked me and had me feel…. to be honest…. afraid of what was to come.
I allowed fear to play its tricks on me which led my prayer to say what I prayed. “Father, I didn’t want this…. I wanted this____”
Can I be honest friend? If we have any ungratefulness, or let me say it like this, if we complain rather than be thankful for where He placed us whether its in this home, this family, this…. job, this career, this… whatever it is he placed us in and we complain about it, how then can He bless us if we can’t be thankful and grateful for what we have now?
I say this with so much love, grace, and salt and from my own personal walk with the Lord.
See, it wasn’t that God was angry with me when I prayed that prayer in the parking lot. He definitely showed me right there in that room.
He had shown me yet another thing, of how wanting and allowing His will to be done are two different things and we must learn to trust in His will, His doing in our life.
If we can’t trust His will in our life, if we can’t trust that He is in fact good despite what we face and walk through, how then can we ever trust Him? How then can we understand that His plan for us is for good, not harm.
Everything we face, everything we encounter, everything He has us walk through, is all for our good and His glory. It always is to make His name known, to bring him the glory that He deserves.
Whatever walk, whatever circumstance you are in, I want you to know this friend. He means well… He leads well… His Will for us may not be the way we want it to be but the journey we get to walk through is the bigger part of the blessing to come. You’ll see the big picture one day. But for now, will you trust His Will for you right now?
What if instead of complaining, we thank Him for where He has placed us, given us, and blessed us with already? Imagine what can be stirred and birthed within the heart of ours…