The Not So Instagram-Worthy-Perfect Bible Study Girl

5:30 am and the alarm goes off. My fingers begin to reach over and hit the off button. I then begin to roll out of bed. As I head my way down to the kitchen I grab my cup off freshly brewed coffee and begin to take my seat where all my Bible belongings are.

Highlighters… check!
Pens… check!
Bible… check!
Journal… check!
Coffee… check!

It was all there.. ready to begin the morning.. and I’d study it like there was no tomorrow. Reading and glancing, researching and reading some more… I’d study all day everyday…

Only if this were true.

I wish I could have all this right with no distractions, no disturbances, but this isn’t so.

As some of you know, I am a mother of four amazing, ready to begin the morning-kiddos! And now a puppy who demands attention and house training.

There were mornings I struggled to get my head in the Bible to study. I found myself stuck as thoughts raced through and through.. words I had no clue what they meant… there is too much for this mama’s brain in the morning. It felt fried by 10am.

I felt guilty for not wanting to study the Bible.
I felt unqualified to understand these verses and stories.
I felt ashamed to even think these thoughts.

Maybe you have felt this once before. Or maybe you are in it now. Maybe you see that young mom, the young adult, or much wiser woman who seems to know everything there is in the bible and it somehow made you felt out of place. Maybe they have made it seem they have it all together when you…. you’re barely making it through that day. Heck you made it through the morning with no kids crying screaming and a kitchen clean….

Friend, let me just tell you this… I once was there.

As I began to recheck my heart and ask the Lord to prompt my heart once again to seeking him and His Word daily, each morning when I rise, things began to shift.

I didn’t need to know everything there is. God does. He provides and downloads his wisdom in the times we need it and ask for it. He gives us understanding of His Word when we take the time to read the Word and not just read it as a “check-list”.

His Spirit falls upon us bringing us revelation through His Word when we soak ourselves in His Word.

If studying the Bible early mornings is your thing… I give you a high five for doing it!
If you’re studying the Bible at lunch…. I give you a high five too because you are doing it!
If you’re studying the Bible in the evenings, on the porch with an iced cold tea, I give you a high five because you are doing it!
And if you are not studying the Bible quite yet, I give you a hug sis and tell you, you will not be alone on this walk!

Every season is different. Not every season will look the same.

I wish I could tell you I have this perfect Bible studying schedule down. But I don’t. I wish I could tell you everyday is the same times… but it isn’t. I won’t tell you that everyday is easy and without a battle because that isn’t true. In fact, there is days I struggle waking up and there is days I struggle falling asleep. There is days my kids wake up super early and there is days I’m alone with God. There is days I study the Word in the morning and there is days I study the word at night.

Everyday is different. Every time I study the Bible, it isn’t ever the same.

I am not the perfect bible study girl who has all her things in place as instagram picture perfect worthy…

But, I am the girl, the woman, who longs for her Savior everyday that she breathes, wanting to know her Father more and more drawing closer to His heart.

It doesn’t matter how many highlighters I have, how many journals I carry, how many bibles I own, heck it doesn’t even matter where I study the Word because those things don’t matter.

What matters is the heart… where is the heart at when studying His Word.

Am I studying for others, am I studying to “show off” and place a “photo”, or am I studying the Word to know my Father deeply?

This is the question that we should be asking ourselves.

Who are we studying for?

So sis, don’t allow instagram to define your studying. Don’t let the “perfect” area get to you. Nor allow the “schedule” to be perfect because each day can be different. And if studying the Bible seems overwhelming for you, take a deep breath sis and pray to the Lord for guidance, wisdom and revelation in His Word. He will. His spirit will show you the Word.