The Danger of If Only

If I were sitting with you in a coffee shop, a park, or on my couch… I would tell you its okay to feel unsure. To walk a hard road and it hurt deep inside. I would hear what you have to say. Hand you a tissue for your tears and grab your hand to let you know I am here. I then would share my hard walks with you and how God has brought me through it all. And how I believe He will come through for you too. I would be utterly honest with how I cried, had anger, questioned, and became stagnant.

Truth to be told….. it is painful friend to walk these walks.

I remember crying out to God, asking him to take this away. The walk of going Through the Terrains. Then suddenly, this was added on top of our walk.

Honestly, it seems too much to bear. The pain. The hurt. The place of “God what are you doing in this?”

I cried. I sobbed. I wept. I moped. I sat in silence. I became in a desperate crying anger, in a way of me asking God “where are you God because I need you.” This road isn’t one I am proud to talk of or share, but I truly felt led to.

Why?

Well I asked and wondered the same thing. And it occurred to me, I am not the only one walking this… there are others in the fire and terrains similar to this and are in a desperate search of hope.

We have these days where it seems so hard to move forward. We sit in our tears far too long having others worry about us. We think too much, hurt so deeply, say very little, bottling everything inside at times, even asking over and over to God…. finding ourselves in a place of “if only…”

If only I could have tried harder.

If only I would have allowed….

If only I could have instilled in them a little more.

If only I could have done more.

If only I could have loved more.

If only I could have spoke more openly.

If only I could be the driver and drive them perfectly to that road.

If only I knew God then.

If only I could go back in time and redo my mistakes…

If only I could have…..

If only….

Oh it is the most dangerous place to be. Sitting in the if only.

I have learned something deeper within me that the “if only” brings. Something only God could reveal what it does to us deep inside.

Sitting in the if only gives the enemy a seat at our table allowing him to do as he pleases within our minds and hearts. It plays the guilt trip having us feel guilty for the things we “wish” we could have done different.

But if it wasn’t for those places, I wouldn’t know who Jesus is today. The deep abiding love that I have for him because I would be relying on my own self to “fix” myself rather than relying on Jesus healing. Friend, I say this with grace, because I am walking it, we shouldn’t be stuck in this place. Rather we are to be in a place with the Lord who redeems those parts and areas of us so we can become whole.

We are to live in the place with the Lord that says “we are redeemed, whole, and new. There is no need to live in the if only but rather, learn to embrace every season, every moment with the Lord, fully relying on Him who changes every part of us to better become who we are meant to be, a reflection of Christ.”

Maybe you don’t see the light in the broken places.

Maybe you don’t feel redeemed or those parts don’t feel pleasantly whole.

Maybe you just don’t see change.

Can I tell you something? Come to the Lord and ask Him to reveal what is deepen within your heart that is causing the “if only”. Could it be fear? Could it be regret? Could it be guilt? Could it be shame?

And if so, these things are not of the Lord. What the Lord wants, he wants for us to be whole healed and new. Fully redeemed in every part of our life, past ,present, and future. So come to Him friend. Come to him with your if only’s and allow him to saturate every fiber being within you with his presence and healing touch.

Lay it down dear friend and receive his glory and love for you today.

Scripture Reference: (esv translation)

• Philippians 4:8 | Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
• Romans 8:1 | There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
• 2 Corinth 5:17 | Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
• 2 Corinth 3:17 | Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
• Matthew 11:28 | Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
• Psalm 147:3 | He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.