Suffering Is Never For Nothing

I sit here on my couch waiting. Waiting for my daughters to arrive home from school. It probably is the first time in a while that today, I didn’t have a schedule packed and full. It feels odd to me if I am being honest. Sitting in quietness (besides two little ones here with me) but no appointments, no tasks, no cleaning to get done, feels a bit strange.

I have become busy lately, unintentionally, only to see that it wasn’t done on purpose, but more of adding more and more only to be told by my Father “it is a cover up.”

My schedule became so full that I couldn’t sit in my suffering. To be honest, I didn’t want to. But God, he wants us to sit in our suffering, not to be mean, but because in the suffering, God meets us there to heal the inside of what is unpacking.

My suffering isn’t with sores and diseases but rather a longing that I’ve awaited years for. Awaited for His very promise he had given me only to see another month, another year pass by with it yet to arrive.

The pain. The grief. The hurt. All the suffering of the hurts and aches it causes deep within my soul. Deep within my body. An anguish suddenly arises and I couldn’t help but feel to release and let it out. All out.

I sit here battling this day not wanting to face the hurt, only to find myself wishing I could sweep it away and leave it til tomorrow.

I thought I could, until I closed my eyes on the couch, as I am being still, only to hear the voice of the Father say, “Dust the windows within your heart.”

Everyone suffers through something. Even Jesus suffered in his life here on earth. He prayed to the Father saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Luke 22:42. He endured the suffering. He felt every inch of the pain, hurt, and grief. Yet, he wanted the Fathers will to be done, not his own.

There has been times I have taken the suffering in my own hands because I couldn’t “face it today” and say “let’s try tomorrow”. The longer I put it off, the harder it was to walk through. The longer it stayed deep within my heart, the harder it was to pull the root out. That root stayed deep, sinking into my very core, finding other “excuses” wrapped around that one core thing to face.

If I truly wanted the other things to be gone, I first needed to take action for this one certain thing, as it was the root to all other things. If you have never pulled a weed out of the ground with roots the size of two baseballs, goodness it is tough, hard, deeply stuck in the ground. It is best to water that area to pull the whole root out rather than partials roots (laughing as I type this because now I have the image of how it really was for us). But if we truly want to be free from the other “small” things around the big root, we must first take care of the bigger root.

Suffering is never easy. Nor is it meant to be beautiful. But there is something beautiful that comes out of it. I know what you are thinking, “beautiful from suffering? Yeah right!” I know. I thought the same thing. Really. But let’s see Jesus for example. He endured suffering up to the cross, 3 days came and something beautiful came from it. His resurrection. His life to walk the earth once again. His presence among his disciples. Now if that isn’t good enough…. read this next part slowly, one word at a time.

Jesus… He made the way for us! All because he endured the suffering til the end to form a new beginning.

Each time I look at this suffering, though it may be small to others, it is big and painful for me. In it, I hear “death to life” from the Holy Spirit.

Jesus died on the cross and rose on the third day! A beautiful reminder of how beauty truly does come from ashes.

I can’t look at my suffering thinking I am the only one who knows what it feels like, because it isn’t true. Jesus, he knows it all too well. He feels what I am feeling. He feels the pain. And he even wipes my tears when days hit me harder than others. The same for you friend. He feels it all, sees it all, hurts with you and grieves with you. What a beautiful Savior we have.

In our suffering, we can’t beat the rush. Actually, we can’t rush through grief, through heartache, through pain. When we rush through it, we are putting more harm to ourselves than healing.

We must trust God in our suffering knowing he never leaves us, nor forsakes us. He never leaves me in the hurt but rather, bends down to listen. He does this for you too! He wraps me with his everlasting arms that are so warm and inviting. As He does for you! His touch that is ever present. His glory that outshines hurt. And comfort that no other person or thing can bring. All this He does to you too!

Friend, is there something you are walking through that brings hurt to the surface? Maybe something seems to resurface that causes more pain than you’d like?
Maybe you are like me, wanting to “try again tomorrow” only to see tomorrow is next year.
Whatever he is bringing to the surface, it is all used for our good and his glory. For his glory to shine and make his name known. To bring complete divine healing that no other has seen. He brings it all to you so that you too, can share this goodness to someone one day, and make his name known having the very person you told, come to Jesus. How beautiful of a day that will be, to see you restored and whole and bringing another to the Kingdom of Glory.

You never know who’s life you may change by sharing your suffering friend.

Friend, I am sorry for the pain, the grief, the loss, the hurt, the infertility, the friendship loss, the promise you still have not seen, the relationship not restored, the betrayal, the suffering, the heartache. I truly am sorry. Though I do not see God’s plan for your life, I do know this for certain, God is using you in this very place he has you in for a purpose. You may not see it now, but one day my friend, you will.

I pray you begin to see a turnaround in your situation. For you to see his glory shining in the midst of your pain. To see that He is, indeed, a father who comforts you in your suffering.

If you are needing a friend to connect with personally, to have someone on your corner as you walk through this, to pray over you and with you, I am totally here! You can email me anytime or even hit the Prayer Request button and I will be sure to connect with you there! You are not alone. God is right there with you sis, and I am here, praying deeply pressing into heaven for you!

Love you beautiful friend,
Nicole | Founder of Knitted with Grace