Stewarding our Friendships
Last week our Stewarding series was continued with Stewarding our Home and Time. This week we will continue the Stewardship series on cultivating friendships and making time for them. As a woman who walks in His ways, we must learn to be better stewards of our friendships given while allowing the Lord to use us as his willing vessel. So let’s begin this week’s topic sister!
“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”
Proverbs 17:17
Friend, in Strong’s concordance in hebrew is re’a (ray-ah), meaning: companion, neighbors fellowman, a familiar person. The root verb of ra’ah is “associate with” or “be a friend of.” The present reference is a prescription for a healthy friendship: a friend should love at all times.
A brother born for adversity is one who sticks closer than a brother (Jesus), and also a very close friend, for when troubling times come, they pray for you and with you, contending in prayer, hearing your heart, being quick to listen and slow to speak.
In my own personal walk, I have experienced both friends who led astray, friends who weren’t listening, friends who left and dropped me out of no where, friends who prayed fervently, and friends who stayed. I also experienced Jesus showing me how I was being a friend, and it wasn’t great either.
In my experience He began to show me how to be a friend and in that I had to first let Him be my friend. Knowing Jesus not only as my Savior but as my friend.
We cannot be a godly friend if we do not let Christ be our friend first. Until we allow Christ to be our friend first, we then can be that friend unto others. Not replacing Jesus but reflecting Jesus unto them.
Friend, I am no means a perfect friend. I am far from it. But I have learned a lot in my experienced friendship losses. I’ve learned in allowing God to reshape me and mold me in the process. I don’t believe there are perfect friendships. But what I do believe is there are messy and redeeming ones. Why do I say this? Because I have walked it and seen the Lords hand in it.
Friendships are important in the body of Christ. God never intended for man to be alone. God was never alone, He always had Jesus and the Holy Spirit since the beginning of time. God has always been of family, community, relational. And in this, we are to be the same way.
He knew it wasn’t good for man to be alone. This was the only time he called something “not good” when Adam was alone. Everything else God created was and is good. He knew we needed people. So he created Eve to be Adam’s helper. This not only shows the importance of a wife’s role, but it also shows the importance of relationships. God is a God of relationships. And if we were to dig a bit deeper, you can see that Naomi and Ruth were another example of friendships. David and Johnathan were great companions. Even Jesus had his disciples with him at times. And in the times he didn’t, he retreated to go to the Father.
Have you found yourself wanting friends? Maybe just that one friend who you can speak to about God however many times and she never turns you away or gets tired of hearing about God and what He is doing in your life. Or the one friend who prays right there and then for you without a question? Or the friend who pours from her cup to fill yours?
Maybe you have yet to experience this but want to.
Can I tell you something sister? Open up and allow God to show you, to highlight, the ones who seek him diligently. Allow Him to direct you in who to speak to. And allow Him to help you cultivate friendships with that person.
Maybe you have been hurt by friends from leaving, gossiping, or whatever it may be and you find it hard to trust again. I get it. I’ve been there countless of times. I even found myself trying to “fit in” just to have friends. But I can honestly tell you this, years later you will regret it. You will hate who you have become just to “fit in.”
God showed me the reasons he had to remove those people from my life. I had to grow. I had to go places they couldn’t come. I had to be opened to more friendships knowing they no longer were for this season. But then there were those friends, that one, who became a Johnathan to a David, a Ruth to a Naomi, in the season that we went though some things.
Stewarding our friendships is holding onto them loosely, yet gently, making time and room for them too. Yes you both may have lives and children, live near or far, homes and husband, jobs and ministries to tend too, but a woman who walks in the Lords ways stewards her friendships well by making sure she hears her and prays with her. Checking in on her weekly. Because you love her and care for her as your sister in Christ.
You don’t have to chat daily, but weekly is better than not. It’s picking up the phone if able, to tend to her and listen. It’s respecting her time and yours. It’s making room for her in your schedule. Scheduling phone calls, coffee dates, park time with kids, bible study time together, it’s placing your friendship at the place of, “I am your sister and I am here.” It is always pointing and directing her back to Jesus. Not being theological based but loving grace filled based.
It’s discipling one another, leading one another to Christ. It’s messy but God shows you both of your hearts and how to overcome it. We don’t give up on one another because we hit a hard place, rather, we talk about it respectfully and also pray about it and even through it. Godly friendships are ones who walk through terrains together yet come out refined.
Stewarding our friendships is ensuring they are seen as Abba Father sees them. It isn’t placing us as Jesus or God to them, because we are not. But showing them the same grace, mercy, forgiveness, and being present for them as Christ is to us.
To become the godly friend, we must first let Jesus become our friend, showing us how to be that very friend unto others. If we cannot allow Jesus to be our friend first, how then can we create godly friendships? How then can we become a godly friend? How would we know what godly friends are? We will never know how to be that friend, how to steward friendships, how to be a godly friend without first knowing Christ as our friend.
Stewarding our friendships is making time for them too. God created people for us to do life with. And what a sad ordeal it is to do life alone. God never created aloneness but community. With one another. Bonding and going to war together. To be an Aaron and Hur in the Moses times. To be a Ruth in a Naomi situation. To be a Johnathan in a David situation. To be the very friend we ourselves needed in our times of brokenness.
It takes intentionality with one another. Embracing the messy, the good, the hard, the tears, the presence of the Lord in friendships. May we become women who allow the Lord to cultivate in our hearts, uprooting what needs to go, to become the better friend Christ wants us to be to others.
reflection questions
How are you stewarding your time with friends?
How can you begin today to steward friendships?
How have you seen God work in your life to become a better friend to others?
How have you been hurt in previous friendships and how can you allow Christ to redeem this area?
your turn
Is there a person God is highlighting to you to meet with? To know? Message her. Call her. Schedule in a coffee/tea date, or if you both have kids, find a time to meet her at a park or zoo, somewhere that you both can get to know one another.
friendship resources
Intentional Friendships Blog Post
Cultivating Friendships Blog Post
Grieving Friendship Loss Article
let us pray
Father, we thank you for friendships. We thank you for YOUR friendship. Thank you for showing us how to be a friend and how to cultivate friendships. Father, you know friendships can be hard and messy, but let me not focus on that and instead allow You to work in the friendships you give me. Let me no hold onto any bitterness or resentment towards previous friendship losses but work in me to forgive and let go so that I can walk into new friendships with a fresh new mind and oil that you pour into me. Help me to steward the friends you give me well and allow my heart to be soft, not hard, as you work in us both in Jesus name, amen.