Remembrance of the Past

Sharing the thoughts that linger within….

I sit here, home away from home, a new temporary place with no balance or routine in this time, only to feel a little off.

I know we were brought here for reasons that God knew we needed, yet it still hurts to walk through what we are walking through. This path seems so familiar and I began to see why God continued to show me the old walk I once walked years ago. 9 years to be exact. I never understood why He kept taking me back to that place and would say “don’t forget this walk.”

Why would he want me to be reminded of this walk? The past? Where I struggled emotionally and mentally?

“God is this even you reminding me?” I would ask. We get told in church and from leaders that when our past is brought up, the enemy is at work. I wanted to be sure this was God taking me back to the past. A blast from the past…

And it was.

It wasn’t the enemy but God reminding me that He was there in the midst among the hurt, the pain, the loneliness, the times I felt I wanted to give up towards the end and surprisingly….VICTORY WAS HERE! He had to remind me in those times, show me the times, reveal how he was intertwined in those moments I didn’t see that He was there. A reminder because He knew I would walk this similar walk once again.

Yes it hurts. Yes its painful. Yes emotions are still there, but then there’s this strength that carries me and this joy that remains. This comfort knowing he comforts me in my afflictions and hurts. Knowing that I am not alone despite if my feelings feel like I am alone. A reminder of how far I have come with God… only with God, and how VICTORY is almost here once again in this walk. But I must remain steadfast in prayer, in his presence, in Him period.

I’ve gotten distracted at a million things. My mind has not been in one place because its been pulled to home, to my kiddos, to the hospital stays, to my spouse, to everywhere…. but just this morning He spoke… “give me your undivided attention.” And that is where He is leading me in this now place.

Though the walk is similar, I do see how strength has been given. Though the walk is similar, I do see anxiety trying to take over but peace overrides. Though this walk is similar, I see teachings the Lord teaches me. Though this walk is similar….. it’s a whole new ball game.

I may not know what tomorrow holds but I do know who holds tomorrow and my future… and He is worthy to give my all too. Even when I hurt, even when I weep, even when I feel numb… I can run to Him and he exchanges all that for his comfort, strength, joy and peace.

Friend, God does in fact take us to our past at times, to remind us that He was present. To remind us how far we have come. To remind us what we were taught. To bring healing where there was no healing done. To show us we may walk a similar walk but be reminded that He is here with us equipping us in this current walk we are about to walk in. If you are being reminded of your past, can I just encourage you to ask the Father if this is him? Because if it isn’t, he will tell you. And if it is, He will show you why. Trust him in the process friend. He never fails us in our walks with Him.