Raising Daughters in a Technology World Part 2

I sit here and wonder how many other moms struggle in this area too? I wonder how many other moms admit this is hard to handle on their own? I wonder….

Have you found yourself mama, sitting and thinking, wondering, you can’t be the only mama hurting and trying in this area? I know I have. There has been days it ate me up, and there has been days I felt okay. There has been days “okay I got this!” And there was those days “I don’t got this!”

Mama, I get it. In this fast paced rapid world we live in, it can be hard to grasp this subject training our children, our daughters, the next generation, to live, to love, and to walk with Christ. But we mustn’t give up on our daughters. With Christ all things are possible. He gives us strength in our weakness, and he upholds not only us in his righteous right hand, but our daughters too.

Last week we talked about Healthy Boundaries and Privacy. Today I’d like to share a bit more on Raising Daughters in a Technology World sharing about App Limitations, Identity in Christ Not the Phone, Unplugging, Recharging and Resting.

Before you begin to read on, I want you to know a little something. From sister in christ to sister in christ, from mother to mother, friend to friend…. there is no condemnation in these articles. There is no judgment. There is no guilt here. As I mentioned in last week’s article, this topic is to share with you what God has led us to and shown us all in it, to raise daughters living for the Kingdom of God, not living for approval from man (people.)

Lets first talk about:

App Limitations. This was something I had a hard time with. Inside I felt I would limit her from “fun” or any thing else she has heard about from friends and peers. I didn’t want to limit her but I also knew safety was important. Everything I question about, or want a decision about, I pray about it. Mama, I highly recommend doing so also. Praying about certain apps, decisions, or anything else. There are certain apps we do have blocked because I felt a strong discernment to not allow it at this age. Now will she have them when she’s older? Possibly, but for this age, I know as a mama, God has entrusted us to lead them, guide them, and train them to follow His voice, and without a doubt I knew these apps must be blocked. Yes I admit it is hard. Why? Because peer pressure, friends who don’t understand a parents role, etc. I wish I could tell you this was easy, but it wasn’t. I have heard stories of her friends securely hiding social media. Elementary age children… speaking to people their mothers know nothing about. And this breaks my heart. As God began to show me this is why I, myself, must limit app usage, block certain ones, and have approvals of apps before downloading… it isn’t to control them, no its far from that. It is to protect them. He had shown me, the same way he protects us from certain things, by saying no to things we want, by having us wait patiently for something, or to even grow slowly… giving a little bit of freedom little at a time… this too is how we should be. God doesn’t hand us our full blessings or even show us our full giftings right away…. why? Because He wants us to grow in them… ensuring we are ready for the job. Ready for the task. Ready for our giftings to be used for the glory of God. It would all be to much to handle and we wouldn’t know how to steward them well.
Same goes for this App Limitation. We are their parents to not just be a friend in need, but to be their parent, ensuring their safety, their freedom given little at a time. I can’t tell you which apps for you to be okay with, I pray that your discernment is strong and you sense what to do…. for us… we blocked the websites of social media. We also blocked the content of scary movies and adult wording (cuss words) in certain music. For one, we don’t watch any horror movies, and for two we don’t listen to any of that music, but somehow things can pop up on phones and we want her to be cautious at what her ears receive.
Sis, I recommend on praying about this. Asking the Lord for direction, guidance and him to lead you and your family in this. Only He can show you on what to do in this particular area, and which apps, websites need to be blocked.

Identity in Christ, Not the Phone. Boy is this one subject daughters need. With so much apps and social media accounts that flow around… daughters can lose themselves in this. When I allowed my daughter to have this certain app, I began to see how she took a selfie and changed her whole appearance. I was deeply crushed inside knowing this isnt who she is, and I wanted to know why she felt the need to changer her whole appearance. When these kind of things happen it could be one of two reasons. Words spoken over her or peers bullying. The mama inside of me wanted to completely take this away and not have her see it again, but deep inside of me the Holy Spirit convicted me of asking her why… why does she want to see herself this way and not for who she is. As I did, she then replied of how girls made fun of how she dressed, how she looked, and how she needs make-up, etc. As a mama of daughters, you want to go up to the school and fix all of this.. you want to step in and just cover her and protect her. You become the mama bear who will no longer put up with this… but again, the Holy Spirit conviction swept through and reassured me this isn’t mine to fix but God to show her who she is. Their identities must be solid in Christ, knowing who they are. Believing who He says they are. We are to continue to speak life into them and show them, not everything they see is true. Some friends may act one way at school and at home very different. Some may copy social media people and not be themselves. And some have pressure to feel beautiful outside when inside they are the most beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made daughters God has created. As mothers, we must speak to them daily about their appearance, such as “your beautiful, your smile is bright, your words are kind” whatever the Lord lays on your heart to say that day to her. Daughters need this from their mothers. They need reassurance of who they are as a daily reminder because once they hit school, it can be forgotten as they are surrounded by many many peers. Remind them, people they see on Pinterest, on social media, never shows the true side of things. They are only highlights and reels of what they want the world to see and not the truth behind it all. While one room may be clean spick and span, the whole house may be dirty. While they may have all the smiles and make up, they may be dealing with insecurity and feeling unloved. There is so much out there, its time we speak to our daughters, speak life into them daily, and reassure them who they are, not who the world says they are, or peers. Ephesians 1 tells a lot of our identity of how we are chosen, loved, adopted, he even says we are fearfully and wonderfully made and knows every number of hairs on our head. Refer to Psalm 139 for more.

Unplugging, Recharging, Resting. I began this a few months back when the Lord laid it on my heart. I didn’t understand the concept of it much, until he showed me, this is what families need. Little did I know, it would help us more than I thought. Unplugging, recharging and resting is a way of stepping away from the phone for the weekend or certain days. For us, weekends are our time to be with family and enjoy one another. Weekdays is full with work, house duties, recordings, writings, and more! The weekends is when we step away from the phone, we unplug from it, get recharged by being with the family and enjoying Gods presence, and resting. God has shown us rest is vital. He rested on the 7th day, it gives us no leeway. We are to rest too, to help our mind, body, soul, and spirit to be refreshed, renews and revitalized. Our minds then can be cleared, our hearts have the room and space for God and family without lashing out because we have too much to do, our bodies get the rest it needs. This is what we should teach our daughters, taking Sabbath days to place her mind, her body, her heart, her spirit upon the Lord and away from beeping, noisy, ringing technology. Have her turn off apps for the weekend. Doing this at an early age she then learns and takes it with her when she is older, and as she gets older, it’ll be easier.

She will thank you one day mama. For all you have taught her. Right now, you may not hear that thank you, but that’s okay! You keep hearing from the Lord and doing as He says. He is faithful enough to fulfill his promise to you, in raising your daughter up in this generation, becoming the salt and light, leading others to Jesus.

My prayer for you Mama,
“Father, thank you for this mama who is called to parent in love with her daughter. Thank you that you are here for us, and not against us. Thank you that you never leave us in this parenting but instead you guide, you lead, you show the way. I pray for this mama that you continually train, correct, and direct her steps in raising her daughter up in the way that she should go. Give her the strength she needs to endure this, place your wisdom upon her, light her way to you, lean into her more deeper on the hard days, speak to her ever so clearly. Father, I ask that you bless this mama who is learning along the way, to raise her daughter up in boldness, in strength, in love, in Christs identity in this generation. Give this mama courage and to stand your ground as she parents her child(ren). Bless her Lord along the way, her eyes, her ears, her mouth and her heart. Show up in her life loud and clear, everyday of her life, as this mama walks this journey with you.
In Jesus Mighty Name,
Amen.

A thank you Note:
Thank you for attending the Raising Daughters in a Technology World Series. I hope you leave this series encouraged, empowered, and feeling equipped to be the mom God has created and called you to be.