Laying Down the Burden of Comparison
Just a moment ago, I put my son down for a nap and immediately prioritized tidying the living room and kitchen to create a clean space before sitting down to pick up my phone, once again viewing Instagram stories of the moms I wish I could be like. Today’s scrolling session was brought to a screeching halt as I was overcome with the painful realization that I’ve been doing this an awful lot lately. Yes, it would be good to further minimize the time I spend scrolling, but I was more impacted by the thoughts rolling through my head as I viewed these stories.
“Wow, I wish I had a larger home with a playroom like that.”
“Those outfits are so cute! I might need a pair of those jeans.”
“It would be so nice to have my kitchen clean and organized like hers.”
“I wish I had the time and energy to do activities like that with my kids.”
“Maybe I should start stocking up on her homeschool materials early.”
“Do I need to purchase that workout plan? Sure wish I’d look like that postpartum.”
“I bet having a quiet time basket like that would help me spend more time in the Word.”
Ladies, we should always encourage and support each other in our roles as wives and mothers. I am all for an online community where we can share products and food and lifestyle hacks. But, at some point, I think we may have to examine our thoughts more closely to realize that we have drifted away from a simple online motherhood community. We have moved far past support and have crossed into the dangerous territory of comparison.
I am 100% guilty of falling into the comparison trap…on a daily basis…primarily when it comes to clothing, baby gear, and home decor. By the grace of God, I have once again been reminded that He created each and every one of us for a specific role and purpose. He hasn’t called us to change who we are or how we live so that we can parent a certain way. He has given us the very children we were meant to raise and disciple in only the ways that we can. In fact, He offers us a very important reminder of this in 1 Peter.
Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV
As I reflected on this reminder, I deleted items from the cart I’d started putting together on Neuflora’s website. Do I wish for a “calm and cohesive wardrobe”? Absolutely. Do I need the neutral tops, flowy dresses, and stylish mom jeans to parent properly? Probably not. Recent efforts to rise early and get ready for the day so that I could be productive while at home rather than to spend time in the Word seemed silly all of a sudden. My attempt to continuously prioritize tidying the living areas during naptime rather than making myself lunch and getting a drink of water felt more than a bit irresponsible. And that overpriced stroller that I’ve been wildly convinced I need since all the other moms have it? Yikes. Forget it.
Do you remember what Jesus instructed the disciples to do when He sent them off to spread His word?
And he said to them, “Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not have two tunics.” Luke 9:3 ESV
We have been called to one of the most important tasks a Christian woman can be called to. We are raising tiny disciples who will be charged with raising the next generation of tiny disciples. At the end of the day, God has asked us to lay down our lives and serve Him and our families with a gentle and quiet spirit rather than the cutest sweater dress and delicate gold hoop earrings. Do we have everything? No. But do we have what we need? As long as we have Jesus, absolutely.
It is incredibly easy to fall into the trap of comparison: seeking a stylish wardrobe, having an aesthetically clean and organized home, or being equipped with the pricey, high quality items for your children. Lord knows how heavily I have been influenced by some of those Instagram moms. I can only imagine that others have fallen into the trap as well. I pray that this is a reminder to you today that God doesn’t care about what we look like or have, He cares about who we are and how we carry ourselves as believers both inside and outside the home.
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus,
Today I come to humbly lay my struggle with comparison at your feet. I so easily allow myself to fall into the trap over and over again. I long to be like the mothers I see around me. I find myself struggling to set down personal expectations of becoming someone you have not designed me to be. Today you have reminded me that my differences are what uniquely distinguish me from others. You’ve reminded me that I have not been called to be like the world, but to be a light in the darkness of the world. I pray that you would guide me down the path meant for me and me alone. May I strive to seek you in every circumstance, may I demonstrate a gentle and quiet spirit inside and outside of the home, and may I raise the tiny disciples you have given me with the gifts that you have blessed me with.
Amen.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Morgan spends her days as a photographer and Colorado State 4-H Shooting Sports Program Assistant, yet her favorite roles are being a daughter, wife, and mother. You can often find her curled up on the couch with a good book and cup of tea, cuddling her two dogs, or spending time with family. A newly established student of the Bible, she loves spending time in the Word and developing her relationship with Jesus through prayer and worship. You can find her on instagram @msmorganjohnston
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