God Can Use My Babies Milestones
I sit here with my heart heavy, wanting to just cry and scream inside. My heart aches yet, filled with hope.
You see NICU babies thriving and you see some struggling. You see some hitting milestones and some… not so much.
We walked the NICU with our second oldest with no hard challenges. Mild milestones to be met, but nothing major. Then here we are. Walking this part where I see other moms with their babies hitting every milestone yet. Even born before mine.
I have to admit, the comparison trap of comparing how my baby thrives to another is real. That hope you had so strong in, fades driftly the more we compare.
But then there is that hope, that hope. you held on tight to, it begins to spark once more as you begin to share your concerns along with the highs and the lows. You begin to feel heard and seen as a mom who does her best in trying to feed all of her family (points if she doesn’t forget to feed herself), attends all of the therapy appointments (bonus points for being on time to them all), and showers everyone else (extra points if she’s able to squeeze one in).
Being a mom with a preemie has some challenges, but has some beauty too.
Yes you will see other full term babies hitting milestones, you will see some preemie babies hitting milestones, and you will even see moms cry, compare, and wonder too.
We moms somehow allow this comparison trap to sneak its way in our minds and allow it to take root. We compare our Children’s health to others. We compare our child’s milestones to others. We even compare our parenting, to some capacity.
As I sit here at the table, it seems as if the table is where my thoughts want to flood in and begin to flow, I know us as NICU moms, moms who have preemies, we tend to forget how much of a warrior and fighter our babies truly are. 23 weekers who fought their way through. 25 weekers who fought their way through. 27 and 29 weekers who fought their way through.
Others may see our children as “behind” but in reality, they are just on time.
Mama, allow grace in. Allow peace in. Allow the tears to flow and then begin to remember how far your baby came. Remember the fights, the tears, the NICU stays and look where they are at now.
Yes they may not be doing as “normal” kids do, but they have fought for their life to be where they are at now.
Mama, I know it hurts at times.
Mama, I know the sting of doubts and questions of, “when will they ever walk, talk, sit, stand, grab, even say ma-ma da-da.”
Mama, I know when others look at you as if they are “tiny” for their age, yet they don’t know the true story behind these strong warriors.
Mama, I know the comparison trap that lingers and hits.
But mama, remember who our babies are.
They are not defined by milestones but defined by their creator.
They are not even their diagnosis, that is not their label. They are a beautiful hand woven, hand picked son/daughter of God who fought the odds of being a preemie NICU baby.
I see your hurt. I see your pain. I see your questions and doubts. But not only do I see, other mamas who walked the NICU with preemie babies see you too. And not only that but we are seen by our Heavenly Father who knows how we feel deep inside and how lonely this road can be.
Embrace the beauty in this road.
Embrace the fact that we can feel His mighty presence deeper and deeper on this road.
And know, dear mama, that you are not alone.
Our NICU preemie babies are worth fighting for. Since the day they were born early, even before that, up unto today and forever more.
Our sweet babies are worth believing the possible in what seems impossible for them.
They fought the odds once before, more times than we discuss, they can beat the odds of this walk showing and sharing the goodness of God. The faithfulness of God. The hand of God in it all.
Mama, you are not a failure. Nor is your baby. Never allow those lies to sink in.
You are created and were made for such a time as this.
My Prayer for You Mama:
Abba Father, I can’t thank you enough for showing your goodness and mercy, your faithfulness in our lives. I can’t thank you enough for your Son Jesus who paved the way for us. I come boldly to the throne of grace to intercede on behalf of our dear NICU mama who experienced the journeys of the NICU stay. I pray that you remind her of your goodness and faithfulness. Remind her that these sweet mighty warrior babies are just that, fighters and proof of your goodness and faithfulness. I ask you Lord to keep her eyes diligently focused on you when the comparison trap tries to evade. I pray that anytime the lie of comparison tries to sneak in bringing lies where it doesn’t belong, I pray over our dear mama that she will not only feel your presence but quickly dismantle the lie that tries to evade her mind and heart. I pray for these sweet precious NICU babies that as they grow continuously strong, may they grow strong in you. Remind this mama that she is not a failure when milestones are not met, but rather, remind her these NICU babies are more than conquerors through Christ who gives them the strength to endure and hit every milestone to be. Remind her Lord that her preemie NICU baby is fearfully and wonderfully made, you created them perfectly just who and how they are. Lord grant this mama the strength for her everyday tasks and fill every appointment she attends with divine appointments with you. Fill her day, each morning, with your truth to help her get through the day and help her to be open and honest with you. Hear her cries, collect every tear of hers, dismantle every lie and doubt, and protect her from the comparison trap. Give her the grace and joy she needs today to know and be assured that our NICU babies are testimony of your trueness. We thank you in advance for your work you do in us and our children. In Jesus name, amen.