Finding Joy in Homemaking: Waking up to the Wonder & Beauty of Homemaking

*Warning ahead: It is a little longer of a read than I normally write, but I was feeling the need to write this. But please read it fully friend, I want this piece to encourage your heart*

If I am honest, I had no idea what to title this post. It could be named so many titles given the places us mothers and wives walk through in homemaking. But when I heard this title, I knew it had to be it. Homemaking isn’t rushed and it isn’t of slack, but of nurturing care and tendencies within the home.

But if I am honest, we lose sight at times. We lose interest. We become bored and discontent. We covet. We get burned out. We complain. and murmur. We forget. We grumble. We focus elsewhere. Have you felt any of these? Are you currently walking it now? I been there. A few times actually and it was hard to navigate through on your own. I could not pinpoint as to what was happening. I kept trying to figure out why. Each season was different and in each season God had to show me and uproot things in my heart that needed HIS attention. Why does He do this?

Because He cares about the heart and our posture. And because He cares, He reveals. And when He reveals, He heals.

And that my friend, is a good thing. Yes it does hurt when the Lord reveals our own hearts to us and when someone points it out in us that we are blinded too, but that is a very good thing. When He loves, which He does, and a Father that loves, He corrects.

Proverbs 3:12 tells us this: “for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.”

The way I see it, I have a choice. I can choose to see my home, my family, my kids, the duties in our home either as a chore and burden or a blessing. I choose the latter.

Motherhood & Homemaking is heart work. Yes, you read that right, heart work, not hard work. It’s heart work because we find ourselves in seasons with the Father of growth, maturity, correction and comfort. We find ourselves in the hard places and in the good places. Both hard and good. Trying and exhausting. Everyday tasks that feel insignificant and in moments we feel unseen and unheard.

But friend, it is in this place where God needs us to be. It’s for our good. We are mama’s, wives, and homemakers in great need of our Savior everyday. Needing His strength to get us through the day. And that includes in the daily chores, daily tending to our family and the clearing of our mind. We don’t have this motherhood, marriage, or homemaking perfected down. Rather, it’s a daily growing in the Lord and a daily abiding in the Lord. We can never grow, never mature, never be who God wants us to be, (hint: which is more like Christ) on our own.

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

We can try and try, but it isn’t until we come to Christ, abide in Christ, draw strength from the well (Christ), where we can then pour into our homes and family. It’s in this very moment, of washing dishes, folding clothes, the everyday same tasks I do here in the home, whether seen by my family or not, I know it is seen by my Heavenly Father. I know He sees me in the ordinary tasks of being a homemaker. Sticky floors, the piled laundry, the endless cooking and putting out meals, the nights of prepping for the homeschool work and agenda, the tending to our chickens and yardwork, I can choose to see it through the lens of my Father as a blessing given, a family he has entrusted me with.

When we begin to find ourselves in burn out, in grumbling, in complaining, being argumentative, in irritability of the people we love and love us, we must step back, apologize for such behavior, admit it is wrong, and then ask the Father why we are acting in such a way. Where the root is and why we are feeling such a way. We cannot fix something surface leveled if the deep leveled isn’t exposed. And I am talking about the heart.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. Matthew 15:18

I have always told my daughters, when they would walk places of ugly words spoken over and to them, this: “don’t take to heart their words. What comes out of their mouths reveals their heart. Pray for them.” And it is true. It is biblical. Our actions and our words say a lot about us. Moreso our hearts.

There was a time where I was always angry. Irritable. Frustrated. Weary. Finding myself complaining on everything I had to do within the home. I could not understand why I was being such a way. It was horrible and I hated it. I share this in hopes to bring encouragement, hope, light, and truth to someone, even if it’s one, who needs this today.

One day I was done with me. My attitude. I didn’t like who I was. I wanted to be gentle, kind, compassionate much like Jesus. I remember thinking, “if I truly love Jesus, why am I acting in such a way? Why, Lord am I angry?”

I kept asking God because I truly wanted to be different. I couldn’t be changed on my own strength, it was only by Him, through Him and in Him that I can be. It was then He exposed and showed me. And this is the very reason dear friend, why I say we must abide in Jesus and walk in grace and truth as He. We ought to be women who walk in His ways and that means fruit bearing, not fruit killing. We have no control over someone’s actions, their words, or their display. But what we do have control over is our own way of how we will respond. If we abide in Christ, we respond when the Spirit of the Lord tells us. And at times, the Holy Spirit will have us to remain silent. We must heed the Spirit.

But there was another thing too…. I added more to my plate than what God told me to have.

Yes, we can do things but in my own learning of walking with God, when I don’t pray about everything, this includes decisions on our family whether its small or big, it then weighs heavy on the family and it begins to take root in a not so great way. We become bitter, resentful and angry. We become heavily burdened. We find ourselves complaining and bickering on every little thing and our heart begins to harden.

I don’t know about you friend, but I don’t want my heart hardened. I want it soft like Christ. To be gentle and lowly, meek and grace filled. I want my love for Christ to reflect to my family.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” John 13:34

But it must start with me. It starts with us in the home. How our atmosphere is set in the home. What we do on a daily basis. Where our time and money is being spent. All this reflects so much of the heart posture. Our eyes are the window to our heart if you did not know this.

I learned to ask the Lord, “Lord, if this is part of your plan to have ____, or to add this job, this duty, this animal etc, to our family, let it be done. If not, remove it.”
I know it sounds silly friend, but I know God does not give us things to burden us. We do it to ourselves. And yes, it is also true that He gives us more than we can handle so we can rely on His strength, wisdom and understanding. But then there are the times we do things on our own.

We then lose sight of the beauty of homemaking because then we are busy and heavily worn out. We forget the sabbath. We forget to pause. We forget to be in the Lord. We forget to wonder into the God given adventures of life. We forget what a walk in the morning breeze feels like or even watching a sunset go down. We forget these things because we have become to heavily distracted, disrupted and distorted with things calling for our attention. We forget the beauty and the true art of homemaking.

Homemaking is not a burden. It is a gift. A beautiful gift to be stewarded well, and sometimes we take it for granted. I know I do and I have been heavily convicted of such things. But oh what a beautiful reminder to wonder and wait. To pause, reflect, and smell the flowers. To enjoy a cup of tea and see the morning sunrise. If that is your thing.

Cleaning our home is not a burdened chore. It is a gift. A gift to have a roof over our heads.

Wiping little kids noses filled with boogies is not something to be irritated about, rather, it is a beautiful gift to see we have little noses to wipe.

Washing the dishes isn’t a burden, rather it’s a gift given knowing a family is well fed from our hearts, our hands, to theirs.

Having laundry and clothes to put away isn’t a dead beat chore. Rather, it is knowing the family has clean clothes to wear for the upcoming days.

Meal planning, grocery planning, frugal and thrift shopping isn’t an embarrassment, it is learning to be wise in the spending and not causing a burden to the family financially or to your spouse. It’s called respecting one another.

Cleaning a house by dusting, mopping, sweeping, cleaning windows, mowing, gardening, growing, isn’t a burden friend. It’s a gift that the Lord has graciously given to us to steward well.

We must learn to look through the lens of contentment, gratitude and thankfulness. When we do, everything shifts. When we begin to see what we do in the home for our family, working and serving them as if we are for the Lord, everything changes. How we serve our family and home reflects our heart and love for the Lord. (ouch!)

What lens will you choose to view it as?

This next section is not for condemnation nor for check off the list but a heart check.

What is a homemaker?

Well in both my definition from my own walk with the Lord tied in with Proverbs 31, it is one in whom cares for her home and those who reside therein. It is a woman who cares for her family in both sickness and in health, in ups and in downs, in being present and in being frugal in her spending. She isn’t one to burden her spouse but to lift him up and encourage him by loving him well. It is being patient in every household task to be done, but being wise to steward her time and day given. She always puts God first and seeks to do everything in her home as if she is working for the Lord. Whether in tiredness or is sadness, she still seeks the Lord and tends to her home, caring for it as a gift God has blessed her with.

Have you found yourself weary or burnt out in exhaustion?

Perhaps you have tried to do everything in your own strength, cramming everything in? Or perhaps you have added more than you should have. Or perhaps you need a reset with the Lord, a restful, cup overflowing, mind clearing sabbath?

Jesus knows everyday is a day of things to get done. We cannot sit around to binge watch TV, phone scroll, shop all day and do nothing. Our every day tasks at home is a lot in itself, to upkeep with the home and kids. In the times we do feel weary, Jesus tells us, “come to me….” Oh what a beautiful portray of an invitation to the Savior to rest upon his lap and be in His embrace.
Are you coming to Him in those times sister, or are you checking out to scroll, to feed your flesh and not your spirit? Now not everything is flesh fed, I am just trying to help you pinpoint where exhaustion comes from or burn out.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Perhaps it’s comparison? You compare your life with hers or the pinterest pins you deeply admire and must have (cough cough its calls covetousness and idolness). Perhaps it is not feeling content with the season you are in. I get that too. I complained in my season, only to be corrected by Abba Father. I am so grateful for the correction though because then I would have been left in a dark dark place… So thankful for His grace and mercies given. I do not deserve it but I am so thankful for it.

We must learn to steward well what God has graciously entrusted us with. And that includes our home, our time, our health, our spouse and our children.

How can we reflect the heart of Christ in our home? How can we become changed?

We must first know that it isn’t of our own doing but the Lord’s. It is acknowledging we need help and admitting to the Father we need His help. It is also knowing the character and heart of Christ. The fruit of Christ and who He is. He is joy. He is peace. He is gentle and lowly. He is compassionate and loving. He is meek and humble. We ought to reflect Jesus in our home. In the hard and in the good moments in our home.

Wives, we set the atmosphere in our home. How is the atmosphere in our home? Is it worry? Is it selfishness? Is it “a bad day?” Put some worship music on and have it playing throughout the day. Light up a non toxic candle (yes, toxic candles do a play a huge role in our endocrine system, moods, attitudes, etc I won’t go into detail here).

Here are a few practical ways that has helped me to be reminded of the gentle art of homemaking and being a peaceful homemaker

Put Him First

Yes, we must. Putting the Lord our God first isn’t a religious act or duty but of divine relationship and intimacy. It is the building of two into one. Think of it as going on a beautiful walk along the beach, sharing together one another’s thoughts. It isn’t rushed, it isn’t one sided, but of you hearing Him and Him hearing you. A deep bond and intimacy must come first in order for us homemakers to get through the day.

It isn’t of your strength but of daily abiding in Christ. Meeting with Him first before the day begins. Giving the Lord my first in the mornings has been a big change in my life. I have heard many say it is legalism, we can go through the day with Christ without meeting Him in the morning, I even lost friends for sharing this. But I will be the first to admit, it truly has changed everything. The Lord did this in me, and I will always cherish my mornings with Him. I would never force you to do so, for what kind of love is that? Rather, I would challenge you to give it a try and ask the Lord to help you do so. To grant you a heart to desire Him first thing in the morning.

See through the Father’s lens & Put on Gratitude & Thankfulness

We must see homemaking as a joy, a delight, through the lens of our Father. It is a great blessing the Father has entrusted us with. Everyday we are given, we choose to walk in gratitude. Put on thankfulness. When grumbling and complaining hits, examine your heart, ask the Father to reveal your heart on the matter, and begin to find something to be grateful for. The more we complain the bitter our hearts become. The more we find gratitude, the more joy overflows within our heart.

Pull Back, Rest, Reset, and Remember the Sabbath

It isn’t wrong to take delighted breaks. To place healthy boundaries. I have learned to put my phone on do not disturb at certain times and on Friday at sundown to Saturday sundown, I put on sabbath mode to not have any alerts coming in. I stay off social media and I plug into the Lord and give my family my undivided attention. Sometimes when I am burnt out, or weary, or mind cluttered, I have to do a heart check. I then see I spent too much time on social media. I am not consistent as I should be, but that is okay. My health, my mind and my spirit matters more. Learn to manage it well. Not only social media but with other things as well. Family time for me is sacred and important. To reset I have to get with the Lord and ask for the Holy Spirit to reset my mind and clear out the clutter within.

Set a Schedule & Plan Accordingly

Coming from a person who was disorganized and could not plan one bit… the Lord shifted this in me and helped me. Now planning isn’t a chore, nor should it be. It is to help clear out our mind and accordingly plan our appointments, days, homeschool times, cleaning days, grocery list, pick up meals, etc etc. We do this to help structure out our day while holding it loosely knowing Abba Father is in charge of our day. Change it up the following month, if able. Make it fun by putting on worship music and playing karaoke with the kids.

Work in the Home as if You are Working for the Lord Himself

Now this couldn’t be more true. When we begin to work in our home as if we are serving our Lord Jesus Christ, everything shifts. Our demeanor, our attitude, our setting. We set up our home for welcoming. We place dinners on the table with great delight. We hug and kiss those in our home with tender care and love and affection. We don’t replace Jesus but reflect Jesus in our home setting and that includes scrubbing toilets, washing dishes, folding laundry, cooking, meal preps, and so on. We see it as a delight, not a chore.

Take Heart dear daughter, and let this season refine your character to reflect more like Christ. Be reminded, it is only by abiding in Him that we can bear this fruit of gentle homemaking. Don’t grow weary in doing good, and when you do become weary, sit with the Lord and speak His Word over your soul. Examine your life, schedule and pause and reflect on the goodness of the Lord.

Stewardship Series

This series was written last year, but it helps us in our walk with God. Learning to steward our marriage, friendships, home, time management, health and more. You can choose your particular subject and read it here.

Scripture References

Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,”

Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Philippians 2:14 “Do all things without grumbling or disputing,”

1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all that you do be done in love.”

John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Philippians 3:17 “Brother, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.”

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever us just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and receivers and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Proverbs 31