Choosing Joy in the Daily Mothering
Motherhood can be challenging to sit in the mundane moments. Messy house, chores to be done, house to be cleaned, grocery list to write, diapers to change, siblings in need of attention, and so on.
Sometimes you find yourself complaining in these moments when trying to get things done, yet, nothing feels like it is getting done.
I am now a mom of 6, but at the time I had 4 little ones when this happened. I found myself complaining and grunting more than I’d like to admit to you. Feeling crumbs on the couches, seeing stains on the carpet from slime and play-dough, walls dirty from the kids hands, dirty clothes mixed in their drawers with clean clothes, rocks found in the house at the most random places, mud traces and so on. Seeing that my house needed attention, chores needed to be done, dinner to start, dishes still piled, my mind rambling at everything to get done and what was gong wrong… I felt so weak and unable to fulfill the things. I found myself more irritable than I ever have been in my life over the silliest things.
That was until God showed me my heart needed some serious work.
It wasn’t one that I saw coming. I don’t think any of us actually see when God comes to teach us a lesson… It’s painful at times. Heart strucking. But so needed.
What He taught me was, I have the choice to choose joy in motherhood, or I can sit in and feel irritable about the smallest things that are not going to stay forever. And staying in the irritable feeling actually will do more harm than good to my soul. My spirit. My relationship with Jesus. I couldn’t rely on my own strength but on the strength of the Lord. I could not continue on without rest and sabbath. I could not take another step of trending to the house when my soul needs His tending. I cannot view these small moments and view them as a hinderance. Because that is just it. We begin to see how it hinders our view of motherhood along with carrying pride (more on this to come). Oh what a wretched soul I was, and still am a work in progress. Thank you Jesus for your leading and guiding even in motherhood.
Friend, we are given a choice to make. He won’t make it for us. But He can lead us to the better one showing us a better view. Much like this….
Sticky walls won’t last forever. Stained carpets will eventually be no marks as if no one is walking on them. Couches wiped clean with no crumbs. Dishes for only 2, your spouse and you. Laundry for only two. Dinner to be made for two, diapers no longer needing to be changed, rocks no longer to be found… childhood… is just that. A short period of time that doesn’t last forever.
It’s in these little things, little mundane moments that we forget are to be cherished and counted all joy. To embrace them and run to the Father anytime we are weary and heavy laden, when we feel no strength so he can pour His. Motherhood is forever, but the stages of motherhood are different. Newborn stage, Toddler stage, it all ends.
I remember the day I wanted to quickly clean up. I saw my house was a huge mess. Then I heard the Lord say, “pause, take a breath, and look. Look around you. Do you see it? Enjoy these days. Enjoy these little things.” And that is just what they are. Little things. Let them scribble in the Bible, with marks and colors. It is a sweet memory to have, trust me. Let them get their fingers painted and muddy. Let them be in pajamas all day. Allow breakfast to be made for dinner. Let the little gentlemen dress up as Ironman and your little princesses dress up as Cinderella while walking in the stores. Trust me, it’s the most memorable moment to have. Let them enjoy their childhood while you take a step back and view it. See it all. Soak it all in. And join them. It doesn’t last forever but for a moment.
My heart pounded and melted when He had shown me to really take things in and enjoy the mess. Now he didn’t tell me to be lazy and never clean up, but to really enjoy motherhood. All stages of it. To choose joy in the mundane-silly-absurd-moments. To choose joy in motherhood, never irritation. To balance well, steward my time well, learn to say no to unimportant things and yes to the important ones. To reorganize my daily chores and tasks and to really be in the mothering moments.
What a gracious Father we have, one who teaches us about life, motherhood, simplicity, and walking everything with Him.
Because of what He taught me, I can now ask this question to my own heart when at times it seems irritation wants to rise, will I choose to be easily irritated at the small things or will I choose to enjoy the simple things in life? Because tomorrow isn’t promised and my days, my kids’ days, are all numbered. Do I want to live in regret of always tending to my chores and house while I miss watching my kids or do I want to enjoy the mess at times while seeing my kids use their imagination?
I know in reality motherhood can be challenging in these ways. Wanting to have this farmhouse look with all the good looking gadgets, spick and span clean house like we see on tiny squares and tv shows. But why do we want such things? As a false sense of tidiness? Why do we feel the need to have a spotless stainless house with children living in it? As a false sense of security that we have it all together when inside we are falling apart?
It’s a false sense of perfection of motherhood that is being portrayed and isn’t true. Motherhood is all about sticky fingers, dirty messes, stained carpets, shoes all over the place, no fancy lights or fancy decor.
Motherhood is a gift to enjoy moment by moment everyday. A sweet gift to embrace at every stage of life, even in the hard newborn sleepless nights and in the teenage years.
And that is something I never want to take for granted. Enjoying the sweet mundane, messy, silly, sweet imagination moments of littles in motherhood and sweet conversations and laughter in teenage years too. Because motherhood is a gift given to enjoy that we learn daily to steward well.
My question to you is, what will you choose? Will you choose joy over irritation? Will you choose joy and fun with the kids over the perfection your flesh seeks?
My Challenge to you, sweet mama, is to count it all joy for 30 straight days. Anytime your flesh wants to cave in and go the opposite, push through and count it all joy… and join those moments. Pause and see those tiny hands and toys… Pause and soak it in… because 5 years, 10 years, 15 years from now… they won’t be there.
Embrace this season mama… embrace the season God has given you and blessed you with. Yes, even in the sleepless nights (oh how I miss rocking my sweet babies through the night). Dance with them. Paint with them. Join them on the fun adventure… because before you know it… you are on a next season with them…
30 Day No Grumbling No Irritation Challenge….
Everyday for 30 straight days, wake up to choose joy. My girls like this challenge, you may too, it may bring in the inner child. Wear bracelets as my girls like to do, and remove one each time you grumble or feel irritated at the small things. Or… if you like empty wrists, leave them empty, and each time you grumble add a bracelet to your wrist. My girls love this challenge as it helps them visualize. Doing this small exercise does help in a way to show what needs to be worked on.
Meet the Author
Nicole is follower of Christ, wife to Leroy in whom they have 6 beautiful children, four daughters and twin miracle boys. She loves the sounds of nature, her sweet Texas living, all things gardening, and making friends. She longs to help other women know the love of Christ and become the deeply rooted woman who is anchored deeply in Christ. You can find her through instagram @lifewiththismom.