A Role That Needs Fixing…
God is their God, we are not. We must step down the role of being God and be the parent God called us to be.
knitted with grace
nicole l.
Sun beaming through the window, my dogs barking outside right near my window, and my two little ones watching the squared pumpkin cartoon.
Anxiety crept in and fear swept through. The thought of what others might say on the things God is telling me to speak about.
The sun hides back in the clouds, and each time I type, the sun beams through.
Somehow it reminds me, and reassures me God is with me. Even though I know it and believe it, but when anxiety tries to eat me or evade my writings I am reassured that God is with me.
I found myself feeling like a failure the other day as I couldn’t remember much of anything. Somehow I forgot my two daughters had ballet practice and we missed it. Guilt sank in.
I then forgot my oldest had a performance Friday and began rushing to make it on time… the house chores I put off because I felt too overwhelmed with doing it all. Guilt once again. I felt I wasn’t enough as I began to see my husband not understanding where I am coming from. Trying to explain to a spouse how it all has seemed to become overwhelming doesn’t seem like a conversation played in your head.
Could it be that I am doing to much?
Could it be that I have really forgotten?
Could it be that everyone expects much of me?
If I were to show them that I can and fully able to do everything in my own power and strength, then I am setting up myself for failure, teaching my spouse and children they are to place everything on their shoulders too. Not what I am wanting.
If I were to meet my husbands wants and needs fully and my kids wants and needs, wouldn’t this be saying I am all here for them and they don’t need God? It may be so.
To be honest. I can’t fulfill their very needs. I can’t fulfill their very wants. Not that I don’t want to, I do. But I’m not christ. I cannot meet every need of theirs. If I were to show them I can, they wouldn’t rely on God but on me.
This is such a hard swallow we as mothers can’t take in. It sometimes is hard to swallow as wives. But the truth of the matter is, we aren’t Christ. We cannot meet every expectation of theirs. Only Christ can.
Now there is a balance of them needing us as parents, I get that, but if they rely so much on us more than God, running to us more than God, what is this saying? What is this teaching them?
I have found myself wanting to be their Christ in their life, rescuing them at every need, without realizing the role I had been playing. I wonder how many others do this? Or if maybe I am alone in it?
This has been on my heart lately and it’s been one to really hit me in a deep convicting truth seeking way.
I have allowed myself to become their need…. and God has been weaving through it, not in a pretty way, but in a way that shows that I am not christ and He, only He can fulfill every need and desire within them. Only He can give my spouse and children what they truly need, I cannot. If we don’t come, if I don’t come, to the conclusion that I am human and have no power to give them their needs, I only set myself up for failure and disappointment.
Ya’ll…. I feel a wreck even typing this. It’s challenging being raised in a world that says opposite of what God wants, yet, here God is, rewriting what the world tried to implant so we can be shown God’s plan for us and his glory.
What I am realizing…..
I have to stop allowing myself to be their everything, “their God”, when God should be their everything.
It has to come down to this, we must step down the role of being their God and turn them to the One True God, the one who loaned us our children.
God is their God, we are not. We must step down the role of being God and be the parent God called us to be.