A Day of Tears

Today was a day filled with tears. All day long. It was unexpected, yet, expected. The other night I dreamt of something specific that I knew deep within my heart and gut, God was telling me what I am about to encounter. A warning dream in fact.

And there it was. The next two mornings it came to be. Reaching for my phone at seven in the morning to turn off my alarm, only to see a text come through that was sent at midnight. 

One that I knew was to come as God already showed me ahead of time. Yet, it still shocked me to see it in real life. 

I wept. I cried. The sink of depression settled in as I cried to Abba Father in a desperate plea cry for help and intervention. 

I think so often we find ourselves here in this place where we desperately need Him to come through. To show up. To comfort us. We forget that He is already here, and there. We easily forget that He is the God who comforts us already in our sorrows, wipes away our tears and collects them, who reassures us over and over again of who he is. We attend to forget He is God, the great I AM. 

At least that was for me. It wasn’t that I forgot, I wanted him so evidently close and near to me to heal my hurt and pain. To show me that He is indeed for me not against me and that He has all of this in his hands. I desperately needed Him in that moment right when anger began to rise and unforgiveness wanted to take over. 

I wanted nothing to do with the matter, yet, I was shoving the hurt further down rather than handing it to God. 

A day of sudden waterfall tears flowing off my cheeks receiving a text that no mom expects to receive. 

A day of overwhelming tears falling causing a puddle around you.

A day of overwhelming tears that caused eating that day to not feel important. 

A day of tears that left a trace and mark deep in my heart… wishing.. hoping.. praying that God hears my hurting heart. 

And He did. And friend, He will for you too. Whatever tears you are shedding for, whatever hope you are hanging too, may it be turned to the Lord. He wraps his arms around us, sending the Holy Spirit to comfort us in our hurting, He reassures us that He heals every hurting broken heart. We just need to be completely honest. 

And if i am being honest. I did. I was brutally honest to Abba Father of how I felt about the situation and how unjust it felt. I shared how it hurt so much that I felt I couldn’t breathe another moment. I cried so much my eyes began to swell and my face too. I was very much honest with how I felt so mad, even though I didn’t want to be, because I love God too much but it hurt and I didn’t know what to do. 

That’s what He wants. Truth. Honesty. Vulnerability. The real you. 

What will fakeness do? Where will it get you?

Nowhere to be exact, but hiding away the pain, the hurt, the honesty of what God wants from you.

A day of tears that shed with a deep hurting broken heart… a day that i can’t forget, yet, a day that God wants to redeem and restore, if only I surrender this one. In which I am in the daily process of doing. Surrendering each hurt, pain, and sorrow. Allowing Him to heal mend and restore. It only requires surrender. Surrendering it all to the One who holds our future and us in his hands.

-Author, Nicole

D I G    D E E P E R

Scripture References
  • Psalm 147:3
  • Psalm 56:8
  • Matthew 11:28-30
  • Psalm 30:5
Reflection Questions
  • How do I view God in the midst of my pain?
  • What do I truly believe of Him in the. midst of my hurt?
  • How can I view this pain and hurt through the eyes of Abba Father?
  • Why do I hold tight to it and not release the pain, the hurt? Is it out of comfort? Familiarness?
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