Stewarding our Marriage
We first learned the meaning of stewardship and how that entails. We then learned last week on Stewarding our Time with God. This is the most important stewardship to begin with. If we cannot place God first in our lives, we cannot pour into our marriage, children, or home. We must simply go in order by serving Christ first, our spouse, children, work, friends, etc.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33
We now must go on with stewarding our marriage. Sounds like a silly title right? Well as silly as it sounds, as “easy” as it may sound, it is the most challenging. Why? Because we tend to place our marriage on the back burner leaving our marriage hanging by a thread. Marriage is a gift. A reflection of the love of our Father, of Jesus, to us, His bride.
“Our devotion to our husband reflects our devotion to Christ, while our devotion to Christ reflects our devotion to our husband.” – SWHW
If we cannot understand the depths of Jesus’ love, of Abba Father’s love for us, how then can we love our spouse and serve Him? We simply cannot. When we first love Christ, when we first experience His love for us, it is then we want to love others, especially our spouse, the same way Christ poured His love for us.
So how can we steward our marriage? What if we have kids, is it possible? Absolutely. Kids should never stand in the way, nor replace, the role of marriage. How it was set to be was God first, our spouse, our children, then our work, friends, etc. It was never meant to be put last but right after Christ. When we pour our heart in Christ and steward our time well with Christ, we then can pour into our marriage and serve our spouse with a heart reflecting Christ.
So how does it look?
Well, it can be stewarded in different ways depending on where you are at in life. But it simply is placing your spouse above yourself and children. It is serving your husband with a cheerful heart. It is greeting him upon entry after a long day of work. It is sending flirty texts and laughs. It is speaking with him, including him, in your conversations.
Last week we learned of placing Christ first the moment we wake up. Now right after that, we can simply place our husband next. Does he leave for work before you do? Does he eat breakfast with you before you both leave?
My husband leaves for work very early, a little after 5am. In this newborn stage, it isn’t ideal to get up earlier than 5 for me in this season to spend time with God. So when my husband awakes, I am already awake nursing our little one. While I am nursing her and my husband is getting ready for work, we say good morning, talk, share the plans for today, and we be sure to give one another hugs and kisses before he heads out the door. After he leaves, then I open my bible and begin to be in the Word. Before our little one came, it was switched. But again, seasons change and in the long night of nursing, it simply isn’t ideal for this season to get up earlier than 5. This was something the Lord showed me in this season that it is okay. To allow my body to rest in this stage of life.
Now, after you speak to your spouse and send off your fairwells for the day, be praying for him and your marriage. You could also do this together (which I highly recommend). We do this and we see how it bonds and strengthens our marriage. But if you cannot, that is okay. Send a verse to your husband that comes to mind for him to uplift and encourage him for the day.
In the time that he is at work, think of ways you can serve him when he comes home. Have you tried having dinner together at home with just you two? This can be possible with kids. Make your kids a simple dinner and have them eat earlier. Try and make your husbands favorite dinner. Light a non-scented candle for the table and you two enjoy dinner together like a date night.
My husband helps wash dishes. So he will either wash while I dry and put them away or vice versa. But in these times, we speak and laugh and share stories with one another.
We be sure to include one another in our day, no matter how it entails. Stewarding our marriage is simply putting our spouse’s needs above our own, serving him well, and having our hearts to reflect Christ.
The way to our husbands heart is by first knowing our Savior. In God’s term of “know,” it simply means an intimate relationship between one another. So when God speaks of “know” in the bible, or when Jesus says “I never ‘knew’ you,” this simply states a deep intimate relationship that was built.
So to better steward our marriage, we need to “know” our spouse. And to know our spouse is to get acquainted with one another. Date one another, flirt with one another, talk with one another. Setting aside time to truly be together without distractions (TV, phones, etc). This is why it was so important to begin the first post beginning our series with God. Because we must “know” God, His love, stewarding our time with God first so we can then do so with our spouse and marriage.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:1
Stewarding our marriage is placing it on the priority list, not the last of the list. Yes house chores need to be done. Yes kids call our name. Yes work needs our attention. But if we cannot place our priorities in the right place, how then can we steward our marriage having it to thrive in Christ? We simply cannot. We must always include Christ in our marriage, be intentional in our marriage, and continue to love and serve our marriage as we do Christ. We must submit to our spouse in love and adoration for him as we do Jesus.
Submission to our spouse is not saying we submit to an abusive relationship. For this is not of Christ. Christ never abuses His bride, His beloved. Rather, He is gentle, meek, humble, loving, assertive, yet compassionate. As wives, when we submit to Christ, it should come easy to submit to our spouse. When we devote our lives and delight in Christ, this should reflect to our marriage and spouse as well.
Stewarding our marriage is placing our marriage in the right place where it belongs, not neglecting the needs our marriage needs. When a withering plant is in need of water, what do we do? We water it of course. This too shall be for our marriage. Watering our marriage with the love of Christ and our presence, allowing Christ and the Holy Spirit to have it grow and strengthen.
Neglecting our marriage can leave it dry, hollow, only to leave it stale and in deep need of nourishment. We as wives are called to nourish our marriage with disciplined time throughout our day.
We must learn to steward our time with God, our home (chores, cooking etc), our children, and placing all these in the right priorities allows us to better steward our marriage and serve it well.
Pray for your marriage throughout the day. While driving, while cooking, while washing dishes, while setting up the table, while doing laundry, while working. Pause for 5 minutes. And begin to pray for your spouse and marriage. Ask the Lord to help you become a better steward in your marriage and ask for his help to guide you in it, helping your heart to reflect Christ to your spouse and in your marriage.
Carve out times for you and your spouse. Sit outside with coffee in the early mornings, or late evenings with a sweet dessert to enjoy together.
Carve out times for date nights, if it’s possible. Invest in your marriage. Invest in your spouse.
Pause and send encouragement to your spouse through a text or a sweet phone call. It could simply be a call saying, “Honey, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you and love you. Have a wonderful day.” Or word it how you feel led.
Send flirty texts with emojis throughout the day.
Find ways to better steward your marriage by getting rid of phone devices when you are around one another, and getting rid of “things” that is taking up time in your day to pour into your marriage.
To steward our marriage is to make time for what matters to us, and that should be the Lord our God and our spouse.
Reflection Questions
What are some areas that you need the Lords help on in your marriage?
What can you improve on in yourself? (of course you need the Lords hand and help in this)
How can you better serve your spouse?
What areas in your marriage need your attention/improvement?
How can you fit your spouse, your marriage, on the priority list in your days ahead?
now its your turn
Last week you grabbed a pen, wrote down your schedule of what needs to stay and what needs to go. You wrote down an “outline” to get a better view and outlook. Now add in time for your spouse.
Block a special time and day (he doesn’t have to know as this can be a surprise to him!), that you can spend an evening with him or a special dinner for you and him. Make this a weekly thing. Block out a time for date nights, if it’s possible.
let us pray
“Abba Father, I thank you for the gift of marriage and my spouse. I know at times I don’t show I am appreciative of it, but I know Lord, that it truly is a gift. Help me to see that well and steward my marriage and time well with him. Grant me a servants heart to better serve my spouse. Not with a grunting or grumbling but a true heart that adores and loves him as I do you. Draw my heart to loving you more and knowing you more so this can reflect in my marriage. Jesus, be at the center of our marriage and show me how my marriage will look. How can I better serve my spouse and have him see Jesus in me and in our marriage? Thank you for hearing me and showing me the way to a fruitful marriage that bears the fruit of Christ, in Jesus name, amen.”
resources
Blog Post: Intentional Marriage; Why Should I Be Intentional in our Marriage?; Key Tips for a Faith-Filled Thriving Marriage; Married in the Trenches-With and Without God written by SWHW Guest Writer Selena.
Books: What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? by Linda Dilllow
Praying for your Husband from Head to Toe by Sharon Jaynes
Praying the Scriptures for your Marriage by Jodie Berndt
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
Previous Stewardship Post: Stewarding our Time with the Lord