Lacing Ourselves With Mom Grace
Perfection seems to be the word that sums up what us mothers seek. We see these perfect squared pictures of how everyone has their home neat in order, kids seem to be well behaved while yours throws tantrums in the middle of the floor. You see how neatly organized other moms are whether its their scheduling books, their tidy homes, kids rooms spic and span and not one stain on the carpet, their clothes well ironed and properly dressed…. meanwhile you are over here struggling to even get your messy bun together and throw on those same clothes as yesterday trying to run out the door because… well… you’re late again.
I seem to know the “mom-perfection” all too well. For so long I felt I needed to have this mom thing down, neatly organized, everything scheduled and put in order, my home tidy with no crumb to be found, and their clothes…. they have to be up to trend.
But with all of that… I was getting myself more and more exhausted running around trying to perfect motherhood. My soul was getting endlessly tired.
I was chasing the wind of perfection. Which by the way, wind can’t be caught.
What I really needed was to give myself mom-grace rather than shaming myself for failing, feeling guilty for not “keeping up”, and letting go of the need to control every detail of motherhood because honestly it all boiled down to this….
I am not in control of everything, just my emotions and well-being.
Leaning into control pretty much says we are full of self-reliance and not needing Jesus.
I needed, and still need, Jesus desperately in the mothering. Leaning into Him He began to show me the way out of the perfect mothering mentality.
He showed me that the way out of perfecting motherhood was to become the Grace-Filled Mom. The mom who gives herself grace when she fails. When she runs late. When laundry somehow was mixed up and now the white shirt turned pink. Giving herself grace when one task wasn’t met that day. Lacing herself with grace when she ran out the door in pajamas to take her kids to school.
I tried to perfect the mothering. I was there. And I slipped quite a bit by missing a task on the task list which in turn left me feeling behind and like a failure. Maybe you feel this way to friend? Or maybe you felt anxiety creep in and sudden hidden stress lingering….
Mama Friend, invite Jesus in and take this mothering one day at a time, one task at a time, one moment and minute at a time.
I needed to take a deep breath to rewind and get myself back together. And by doing that, I had to turn to Jesus in the quiet moments, to settle and allow Him to still my heart. To regain my focus back onto Jesus-who is my Perfect Peace. To invite Him within my home so that He can pour into me that no other can do. To carry me through mothering that no one else can.
What if we gave ourselves grace for the times we fall short? Because friend, we will. Sorry to say it but there is absolutely no perfection in motherhood. It’s a bought out lie from the enemy who wants us to feel endlessly tired not seeking Jesus and His grace.
Mothering is all about learning as we go while we lean into our Father who teaches and shows us how to mother each child, as each child is different.
It is only with Him that we are able to continue on forward. To take that next step. To wake up another morning and get the kids ready and off to school. To wake up in the middle of the night helping a sick child not vomit all over the place. To get us through the nursing nights. To not mouth off to our teen who things he/she may know it all. It is only through Him that we are strengthened in our weaknesses in mothering. It is only in Him friend that He is able to enter in the home of our hearts and flow in and through.
Oh how I need my Father every minute of the day. How I need Him to lead me in the mothering. How I need Him to tell me when to be quiet, when to speak, and how to take action when action is needed.
I don’t have to seek mothering perfection. Because its like I said, perfection is like chasing the wind, impossible.
If I continue to live in perfection, I am showing my kids, as they look up to us moms, to live and strive for perfection also, which then has them feeling afraid to fail. I don’t want this for my kids. And maybe you don’t either friend.
When failure happens, they beat themselves up with words that shouldn’t be said. Words that are more harmful to their soul rather than encouraging and preaching to their sweet little soul. A mentality is adopted of “I can never be good enough” when our Heavenly Father says otherwise.
Mama, it’s okay if we fail. Don’t be afraid to fail. Fail with grace. Get back up, let go of control, let go of the need to perfect the mothering, and lean into the One who extends his grace showing us how to mother in and with grace.
May we all learn to be mamas who lace ourselves with mom-grace where grace is deeply needed. And may we extend that mom-grace to other fellow moms as they walk this mothering journey out too! Because mama…. friend…. we all could use some grace in mothering.