The Joy & Sadness When The Age of Your Oldest Hits

I began to take a look at my daughter the other day and it happened. Somehow a time lapse played in my brain and this mama’s heart began to sink. The thought rushed through my mind “you only have ___ years to have her. To train her. To love her.”

Tears flowed down my cheeks. Anxiety crept in. Worry began to settle in and make its place. It played over and over.

How can this little tiny one who seemed a newborn just yesterday now all of a sudden twelve. A flash, a blink of an eye came suddenly and inside my heart ached for something that hasn’t happened yet.

And this is how it gets. We begin to think and play theses scenarios in our minds only to see the enemy somehow robs our joy and plants in us “stolen” moments. Feeling as if we need to make up time, need to go back and do this or that over… We begin to feel we have this certain amount of time to get her equipped and ready for out the door stage. I felt this inside. A sudden urge to hurry and teach her this, teach her that, tell her this and tell her that… when suddenly… I broke down in tears not ready for the day she leaves my home to begin a new season in her growing up to maturity life.

I tend to hear other mom’s who have somehow felt this way too, as if they had this “hurry sense”, this “rushing sense”, to teach her all the things in one single moment. We tend to forget that even us mothers, are in the stages of maturity.. of learning and growing too in our mistakes. We tend to forget the moments we have with them now is valuable and special. They need us as the mom’s now not the one’s up further ahead. They want our hearts to lean to theirs, our ears to listen, our eyes to see and our arms wide open.

Daughters have a whole lifetime up ahead to learn, to be equipped, to be empowered…. but right now… they need you for that moment.

Recently the Lord put it on my heart to pray “teach us to number our days, so that we may live for you according to your word.” And this dear sister, is how He is teaching me, showing me, leading me to not only look ahead, but to see the right now moment. It isn’t merely wrong to feel this sudden joy yet this sudden sadness as we see our daughters growing up walking in new stages. It’s the beginning of their adult life. It isn’t wrong to feel a bit hurt, only if it draws you near Jesus, so He can show you to let go of that hurt and it be replaced with His peace and guidance.

Each age our daughters hit is a new season, a new walk of life for them. And in each season, each age they hit is out time mama’s, to shine, to teach, to empower, and to equip them for the “now” moments. They need us mama. To be there now… not further ahead in life where they still have years to go too.

I was afraid of her turning this age because so many speak negatively about this age and further up. Close family members and friends speak of how “rotten” this age is and I couldn’t help but dread it. Be afraid of it. Until God shifted things in my heart, uprooted what others spoke over me and others, I began to see something beautiful happen and bloom. This age is challenging in some moments, but it’s also the most beautiful because then you are able to bring a closer relationship than before. We shouldn’t be afraid for them to turn a certain age. We shouldn’t dread it coming. We should celebrate and enjoy and be joyful to have another year with her, another day with her, another moment with her. One thing he has shown me is watch for what others speak of her and me and our relationship. Guard it like its your life. Guard and protect it. Nurture the relationship and spend quality time together if possible, without other siblings. And be present. They need you. They may seem distant as if they don’t need you, but its quite the opposite. They need you more in these moments.

Friend, next time you see your daughter thank God for giving you another day & another year with her, seeing her grow, smile, laugh, learn her emotions, learn herself, learn and lean into the Father. Growing and maturing into the qualified, daughter of the Most High God that she is.

And remember dear sister, in these moments we feel the sudden “rush” the sudden “sadness” to make up for time, to teach her a whole lifespan of things in a short amount of time, remember God is loving, God is good, God teaches us a lot in our lifespan never rushing but always on time.